STAGE 2 : REFINING CHOICES

[STEP 31]             
GOOD AND BAD FEATURES IN PERSONAL STATEMENT WRITING

It is useful at this stage to be aware of what constitutes bad and better practice in writing a Personal Statement. You should consider both content and style. From the thousands of examples that I have seen, I think that most first drafts include too many general statements and not enough specific evidence. Keep in focus the aim of this: it is to show the admissions’ staff the evidence for your current interest in the subjects applied for. It should not therefore be an autobiography or an attempt to show the importance of the subject for the world at large.

In order to highlight bad and better practice, I have written fictional “bad and better” Personal Statement sections for five subjects. I have found it useful to show these to potential applicants in the Summer Term, so that, if they have a good idea at this stage of the sort of content and style that might ultimately be appropriate for them, they might be more likely to focus more successfully on collecting further relevant evidence in the summer vacation and be less daunted about writing their final version in the Autumn Term.

(1) What is a good UCAS Personal Statement for French?

Here is a couple of fictional extracts, to illustrate unsatisfactory and better practice relevant to students applying for Modern Languages.

Part of a bad Personal Statement for French

Since I was a young child I have visited France many times, firstly with my family and more recently on an exchange programme. I have travelled to most areas, but I especially like the Alps and the French Riviera. I have always been fascinated by the differences between French and British culture; I have enjoyed soaking up the French culture; and my appetite has been whetted to learn more.

French has always been my favourite subject, and I am keen to become fluent in the language and immerse myself further in French culture. I am attracted by the different pace of life in the south of France, and I enjoy nothing more than browsing in a market in Provence and practising my French.

First drafts of Modern Language Personal Statements often fall into the trap of “I like the country, so give me a ticket to your course (and a year abroad there)”. This is not a convincing appeal. Visiting the country is relevant, but only in the context of what was observed and learned (in addition to any language skills developed). Give evidence for why the Alps and French Riviera are favourite areas – or the admissions’ tutor might assume that it is because of skiing and sunbathing!

Beware of sweeping statements about French or British culture. “Soaking up” conjures up the image of a lazy time spent in a bar, and “appetite has been whetted” (and “immerse” in the next paragraph) does nothing to counteract this.

It is not sufficient evidence to state that “French has always been my favourite subject” and it is unlikely to be true: most students studied other subjects before they started French.

The statement about the pace of life in the south of France is a dangerous generalisation, which only serves to reaffirm the lazy year abroad image. At least “practising my French” is mentioned, but anyone can write this stuff.

I am captivated by the articles which I read in “Chez Nous”, such as ones on the environment and whether video games make people violent. I have read Maupassant’s short stories and am eager to delve further into French literature. I find French films particularly stimulating: “Au Revoir Les Enfants” is a firm favourite, but I have also watched “Jules et Jim” and “Amélie”.

Avoid such hyperbolic phrases as “I am captivated”: these tend to be the refuge of those who mistakenly believe that a lack of evidence can be disguised by strong expression of enthusiasm.

The mention of environment and video games needs to be developed. What was interesting about these articles? What did you learn? The same applies to the mention of Maupassant and the films. The superficial references suggest that these were compulsory parts of a French course, which have had little impact on the writer.

I am honoured to be Secretary of the school Modern Languages Society and have been fortunate to win a school travel grant to explore the Motorbike Sub-Culture of Southern France. This will also be a chance for me and my friends to hone our language skillset.

My advice to this applicant is to forget the honour and good fortune, and focus on what you have learnt from the experiences. The Motorbike Sub-Culture looks like a specious excuse to get funding for a trip to favoured resorts. Do not let your silence lure an admissions’ tutor into cynicism.

As for the phrase “hone our language skillset”, it looks as if it has come from a theoretical management (or Personal Statement) manual. The phrase does not look authentic. “Who has written this?” the admission tutor is asking, and is therefore wondering about the authenticity of the rest of the piece. Be genuine! Avoid pomposity.

Part of a better Personal Statement for French

In my EPQ, “Can the spread of Anglicisms in French be halted?”, I concluded that the efforts of Giscard d’Estaing and others during the last fifty years represent ultimately a futile effort by those who adopt an extreme normative position. Language is constantly developing in all registers, oral and written, and I wish to explore this fluidity in more detail. The EPQ research arose from my reading Kate Fox’s “Watching the English” in the context of my frequent visits to France. I wondered what an anthropological study of “Watching the French” in different communities might contain. Reading Ball’s “The French Speaking World” led me to conduct a questionnaire during a recent study visit to Nice: I concluded that most of the respondents were at ease with Anglicisms in speech, but recognised that the written language often requires a more formal register.

The EPQ title is eye-catching from the outset. No other applicant is likely to have chosen this title, and the research and presentation skills required for an EPQ are those required in undergraduate study. The conclusion shows an awareness of the normative/descriptive debate in linguistics and (probably) shows that the applicant is an independent thinker. This is confirmed by the reflection on reading (“Watching the English”) in a French cultural context. Similarly, the initiative in undertaking the survey in Nice and the nuanced conclusion suggest that this is a curious and committed student who is prepared to get outside his/her “intellectual comfort zone”.

A student wishing to “read” a subject at university should strongly consider highlighting individual research at the beginning of the Personal Statement, including personal reflection on two or three books or articles read in connection with this research, which need not be formally assessed as an EPQ.

The depiction of the harsh life of mining families in Zola’s “Germinal” moved me, and I decided to explore the very different ambiences of “Nana” and “Thérèse Raquin”. I have given a presentation to my Art class on “Who was the more revolutionary artist: Zola or Cézanne?” I concluded in favour of Cézanne, as his impact has been more lasting.

The development of an interest in Zola is justified well, but a sentence comparing and contrasting the three novels would have driven this point home. It is, however, good to see that this student is not constrained by modular study at A Level but thinks across categories, by making links across subjects, and takes the trouble to present a paper to a group.

My favourite film director is Louis Malle, as, unlike Truffaut and others of the Nouvelle Vague, he had the courage to explore with sensitivity topics such as incest and wartime collaboration: while “Souffle au Coeur” is a tragi-comic and disturbingly convincing adolescent’s journey, “Lacombe Lucien” exposes how tempting it can be to sacrifice moral standards for someone craving social acceptance.

The interest in Malle is justified well (he did, after all, retreat from France to USA for several years). The conclusions about the two films mentioned are perspicacious.

Overall, the impression is that this is a student whose enthusiasm for French language and culture is genuine and wide ranging. Although many students might not match this level of engagement, it is the approach to the material that is the salient characteristic: the evidence presented is cogent and the analytical style is clear and concise. These passages stand in sharp contrast to the superficiality of the examples and the rather desperate style in the “bad” Personal Statement.

(2) What is a good UCAS Personal Statement for History?

There are particular pitfalls that the unwary History applicant might fall into in writing a Personal Statement, as illustrated in the fictional example below. I have also devised some extracts to illustrated what admissions’ staff might find more convincing.

Part of a bad Personal Statement for History

I’ve always loved History. When I was young I liked nothing more than exploring medieval castles. More
recently I’ve been captivated by WW2: Hitler’s dramatic rise to power, the strategies of both sides, and why was Germany defeated? I’ve been particularly fascinated by technical progress in military aircraft: for instance, the development of the Heinkel He 162 lightweight interceptor and the Messerschmitt Me 262 jet fighter, 1433 of them were built. Making models of these increases my knowledge. My favourite book is “Jane’s Fighting Aircraft of World War II”. I’ve visited the Imperial War Museum 3 times. History is a vital subject. Only by studying the past can we learn lessons for the future. We’ve been studying the French Revolution and Napoleon at school. I’m intrigued by how a little man from Corsica, who notoriously was afraid of cats, could dominate the world. Of course, he bit off more than he could chew when it came to invading Russia. So did Hitler, however if he had read more history he would of learnt from Napoleon’s cock up and not got chucked out of Russia. So obviously this proves that studying History is vital. I want to be the new Dan Snow and tell people about famous battles on TV.

There are problems with the layout and the English. Paragraphs are needed, for, if the Personal Statement is written in one paragraph, the admissions’ tutor is likely to feel that the applicant cannot structure written work or be sufficiently concise. Moreover, this is a formal document, so contracted forms ("I’ve"), colloquial expressions ("bit off more than he could chew"; "cock up"; "chucked out") and abbreviations ("WW2", "TV") should be avoided. There are also errors of punctuation ("however" needs to be preceded by a full stop rather than a comma), grammar ("of them" should be "of which"; "would of" should be "would have") and syntax ("why was Germany defeated?" should be turned into an Indirect Question: "why Germany was defeated"). Applicants need to be aware of the correct stylistic register as well as the need for accurate English.

There are also many problems with the content. The start is weak and irrelevant: a biographical summary is unnecessary; it is the applicant’s position now which is important. On the Second World War, quite apart from the hyperbole ("captivated"), the three topics listed do nothing to show how the applicant’s interest has developed: what has been learned, what independent conclusions have been drawn. The section on aircraft is descriptive rather than analytical, and there is a suggestion that the applicant’s interests are narrowly confined to military machines, which the mention of modeling and the reference to Jane’s does nothing to dispel. Similarly, there is no credit gained for having visited a museum (even several times), if there is no suggestion of what was learned there.

The general statement about History in the middle comes as a shock, and it is a naïve historian who assumes that lessons are learned from the past.

As for Napoleon, there is very little insight shown. The language suggests that the writer is likely to stereotype ("little man from Corsica"); Napoleon’s fear of cats is, I believe, undocumented; and he did not dominate the entire world. It is therefore not surprising that this applicant uses "of course", "obviously" and "proves", all of which I tell my students to avoid in their essays.

At the end there is a clumsy return to the “learning from history” theme, followed by a clumsy statement about career aim, which by this stage seems to be totally unrealistic.

Part of a better Personal Statement for History

Most recently my historical interests have focused on ancient and modern political propaganda, French social history, and the current relevance of genocide denial.

In my EPQ, “Was the Augustan régime’s propaganda more effect than that of the Nazi régime?”, I concluded that, while the Nazis had more resources, such as Riefenstahl’s films, to reach a mass audience, Augustus use of physical image and inscriptional biography (“Res Gestae”) was an effective means of binding together a huge and disparate empire. Burleigh’s concept of “political religion” as applied to the Nazis has resonances in this much earlier period; and it is no coincidence that Syme’s “Roman Revolution”, charting Octavian’s transformation into Augustus, was written during the expansion of fascism in the 1930s.

Tindall’s “Célestine” shows how isolated a rural area like the Berry was until the First World War. This was complemented by Le Roy Ladurie’s evocation of 14th century village life in “Montaillou”: his microscopic analysis of a community reveals that social distinctions were not as marked here as in more prosperous areas.

Studying the Lipstadt/Irving holocaust denial trial of 2000 made me realize the importance of objective historical study in the face of politically motivated threats. In this context, I researched and presented a paper to the Sixth Form Seminar Group on whether the mass killing of Armenians in 1915 should be described as “genocide”. I concluded that, although the application of the term is more complicated than is generally realized, the Turkish government’s denial of genocide is unjustifiable.

The first sentence whets the appetite for what is to follow, though some would advocate dispensing with it, as the detailed evidence about the EPQ could have greater impact as an opening sentence. It is unlikely that any other applicant has taken this title for research. It is particularly eye-catching because the applicant has chosen to examine a theme across two greatly contrasting cultures. This breadth is also indicated by the range of sources consulted: film, art and inscription. The applicant not only has consulted modern scholars, but also sees the importance of the context in which one of them was writing.

The analytical approach is developed in the next paragraph across a different topic, which again is unusual and has required the applicant to compare and contrast very different historical periods.

The third paragraph offers a justification for the importance of objective historical study by quoting pertinent evidence. Moreover, this appears to have been a springboard for research on another historical topic with profound resonances in politics today. The conclusion suggests a balanced approach: even if some might dispute the conclusion reached, the important point is that this applicant has realized that this is a more complex issue than many people believe.

If we look at the “bad” and “better” segments above, I think it is clear that the second example is far more convincing than the first, because the evidence is more compelling and it is expressed in a more literate and sophisticated style.

(3) What is a good UCAS Personal Statement for Medicine?

Medicine is a highly competitive subject and Personal Statements are closely scrutinised. Here is a couple of fictional extracts, to illustrate unsatisfactory and better practice.

Part of a bad Personal Statement for Medicine

I have always wanted to be a doctor. Ever since I cut my head as a small child and experienced the drama and professionalism of an A and E department, this has been my aim. I can think of no more satisfying career than helping people in life-changing or even life-threatening situations. I hope to specialise in cardiology.

UCAS has revealed that the most popular opening for a Personal Statement in one application cycle was “From a young age I have (always) been…”. Not only is the opening sentence above therefore dull, it is also, if taken literally, untrue and irrelevant. The admissions’ tutor needs evidence of current interest, not a potted biography. The next two sentences create the suspicion that drama rather than scientific problem solving are at the heart of this applicant’s interests. And on the subject of heart, the absurdly early decision on specialisation suggests narrow-mindedness.

Science has always been my strongest area at school. I am proud to have achieved 10 straight A* grades at GCSE, and I chose to support my fascination for Biology and Chemistry by studying Mathematics. English has helped to develop my communication and analytical skills.

Although scientific ability is necessary, the way this is expressed suggests that the motivation to study Medicine comes from what comes most easily academically rather than a commitment to the career area. There is no need to blow one’s trumpet by being proud, as Medics. need to have confidence but also humility, if they are to be teachable, empathetic and communicative. Let the referee judge your achievement. In any case, the grades are already mentioned elsewhere on the form. As for “fascination”, what is needed is evidence of that interest rather than a hyperbolic noun.

The bland comment about English is one that anyone studying the subject at any level might justifiably write. Give evidence!

I am fortunate to have relatives who are GPs, and I have spent several days at their surgeries. My godfather, who is a consultant cardiologist, arranged for me to see different departments during one week in a large local hospital.

Let others judge your good fortune; just give the evidence. In this context, parading the family network might easily be read as sneering contempt for those “less fortunate”. It is not clear what this person learned in the GP surgeries; from this they might have just sat in the waiting room! As for the hospital placement, we again need to know what was learned, and we now wonder whether godfather hero-worship is responsible for the wish stated earlier to specialise in cardiology . An opportunity to compare and contrast (different departments; GP and consultant) has been missed.

I have read many books about medicine. These include “Call the Midwife”, “An Insider’s Guide to Medicine”, “Saturday” and “Grey’s Anatomy”. I read “New Scientist” regularly and have been intrigued to develop my scientific knowledge from many articles. I attend our school Science Society. I also went to a captivating lecture on surgery.

Quantity of reading does not impress, nor does a reading list. In reading Personal Statements, I soon realised that, if books were listed, the more likely it was that the applicant had read none of them! Moreover, this list is an odd mixture: memoir; student applicant guide; a novel; a “classic” of anatomy – but the spelling should be “Gray”. Similarly, mentioning articles in general is unconvincing, unless it is supported by reference to a specific article or articles and how that developed the applicant’s knowledge or awareness. Merely claiming attendance at a school society raises questions: How often? What topics have been presented and in what format? In the absence of extra detail, there is the suspicion that the applicant was simply sitting there passively rather than actively participating. The word “captivating” is hyperbolic. What was particularly interesting?

I have a variety of extra-curricular interests. I play most sports and represent the school for first team hockey and athletics. My main event in the latter is javelin. I have completed the Silver Duke of Edinburgh Award. In Year 9 I won a Community Service award.

The first sentence is too bland and nobody plays “most” sports. Will this person be busier playing sport than studying? What skills are involved: e.g., persistence, time management? As for the two awards mentioned, what was learned in the process?

Part of a better Personal Statement for Medicine

I am interested in scientific problem-solving. A recent article in “New Scientist” on the development of personalised gene therapy treatment led me to give a talk to my class on “Glybera”, the first treatment approved by the European Commission: I focused on both the scientific and the ethical issues. I learned that articles in the popular press often skate over complex issues in both areas.

If I go to a doctor, I often want her/him to solve a problem and have the knowledge to do so. Communication skills might be important but are secondary. This applicant specifies a particular article (on an area of rapid development in medicine) and shows that the initial interest led to a presentation being researched and given. The applicant sensibly limited the scope of this presentation to a manageable amount. Moreover, the student has realised, from the scientific article, that non-scientific articles can over-simplify and cause serious distortion. This is a thinking student, who can compare and contrast and, it seems, reach an independent conclusion.

I have worked for several months on a supermarket check-out, where, like a doctor, I have had to deal with a wide range of people, some of whom are clearly under stress. I have become more confident in trying to communicate in a clear and friendly way, while maintaining an efficient service. Weekly voluntary work for the last year at an old people’s home has taught me the value of regular contact: what is at first shown on the surface is not always the main concern.

I have heard several Medicine admissions’ tutors say that working on a supermarket checkout or in a café is better preparation than shadowing a GP or consultant. The skills developed by dealing with a wide cross-section of people, some of whom might not be at their best (as the student acutely observes), are valuable in the NHS. The student draws the analogy and gives evidence of perseverance (an important quality for all students), flexibility, empathy and a wish to develop communication skills. The voluntary work again is used as evidence of someone who sticks at something. Many patients will be old. The student has insight, being aware of the distinction between superficial statements or evidence and underlying issues.

I recognise, as Gabriel Weston shows in “Direct Red”, that Medicine is a demanding profession, which requires great collaboration among colleagues as well as physical and mental stamina. I have five young cousins, whom I regularly supervise during the school holidays with a couple of older cousins: this has helped me to devise strategies for coping with stress, including diversion, variety of activities and humour. I regularly exercise for recreation by running in the local park.

The student dismisses any notion of Medicine as a romantic profession, but puts this in a positive way, while quoting a good memoir as evidence. The supervision of the younger cousins is again evidence of regular commitment, here to working with children. The student works in a team and shows awareness of problems and possible solutions in exercising a responsibility. The regular physical exercise, although it is not high status or team-based, offers reassurance that this student tries to keep body as well as mind in a healthy state. Stressed Medicine students need a contrasting activity as a release.

I hope that the two extracts above offer an indication of both the dangers of unsupported generalisation and the kind of evidence that can be effective. Note the contrast between the unimpressive listing of names and experiences assumed to be “high status” in the first example and the cogent use of examples from everyday life in the second example. Applicants often ignore such potentially important evidence as being too mundane. It is not!

(4) What is a good UCAS Personal Statement for Real Estate Management?

Here is a couple of fictional extracts, to illustrate unsatisfactory and better practice.

Part of a bad Personal Statement for Real Estate Management

We have moved house many times and, as a result, I have seen and lived in different types of property. I have been fascinated to be involved in the often complex negotiations that take place. Also my father and uncle are both estate agents with Swank and Nailer, and I have been fortunate to visit different types of property with them, and have details explained to me.

The first two sentences are bland. There is no evidence that the writer has learnt from these experiences. The same applies with the opportunities provided by relatives. What did this person learn? In view of the lack of evidence, there is a suspicion that this is someone trying to join a family bandwagon. I advise not mentioning relatives providing opportunities. And don’t celebrate your good fortune.

Avoid "Also" at the beginning of a sentence. Use “Moreover” or “In addition” or postpone “also”.

I now regularly read the property pages of “The Daily Telegraph” and see week by week developments in the residential sector.

Anybody could have written this. Give specific examples. Show that you can think about what you have learnt.

My A Level subjects support my choice. Business Studies makes me aware of issues such as marketing and Geography has developed my knowledge of population and environment. I am determined to learn more about environmental issues relevant to housing. Classical Civilisation has made me see that issues connected with housing have a historical dimension, as well as developing my essay writing skills.

Don’t try desperately to link all your A Level subjects with your choice of HE course.  The points about Business Studies and Geography might have been made relevant, if more specific detail had been given. The first Classical Civilisation point looks desperate, the second is too obvious to need stating.

I am determined to study a subject which is relevant to everyday life and I am confident that I have the talent to succeed.

I don’t like this kind of bland conclusion, which some people feel obliged to write. If the main body of the Personal Statement has been effectively based on evidence, there is no need to spoil it by adding a tailpiece that does not advance the argument further. Let the reference writer(s) judge your talent.

Part of a better Personal Statement for Real Estate Management

I first became interested in property two years ago, when my parents bought our current house and then applied for planning permission to construct an extension. I was interested to observe the marketing tactics of the different estate agents who showed us properties: one tried to overwhelm us with detail; another tried to gloss over defects and emphasise, in exaggerated terms, the positive aspects; the best gave clear information, was ready to listen and gave informed replies. This led me to scrutinise carefully the written information that the companies provided, and my regular reading of “The Daily Telegraph”’s property pages taught me that this is both a challenging and exciting time in the property industry, as the country moves out of recession (at different rates in different areas) and new building regulations are having a great impact.

This introduction is based on personal experience. Moreover, it convincingly sets out, with evidence, the stages by which this applicant’s interest grew. There is evidence of the ability to analyse different marketing techniques and to reach an independent judgement. The reading also seems to have been conducted in a reflective way, and the reader seems to have become aware that there is considerable variety in the buoyancy of the property market across the country.

During a week’s work shadowing  with Chalmer Sell I learned more about the legal aspect of buying and selling property and visited eight residential properties to value them. I was able to shadow a commercial agent, who explained the importance of the mixture of residential and commercial property both to companies and communities.

The Chalmer Sell work shadowing is described in sufficient detail to highlight the variety and extent of what was seen. Most importantly, there is a sense that this student was learning.

In contrast, a further week with Day Wiley, an agency specialising in agricultural property and land, gave me an insight into the role of property managers in an agricultural property auction.

The Day Wiley work shadowing is an effective contrast with the Chalmer Sell placement, and again there is a sense that the applicant was learning more by broadening her/his experience.

My interest in sustainability and conservation, sparked by a presentation given by me to my Geography set on BedZED development in London, led me to read both the “Housebuilder’s Bible” by Brinkley and “Building Construction Handbook” by Chudley and Greeno.  The former gives a meticulous point-by-point guide to building a house, and I was particularly interested in the section on “managing builders”; the latter gives more detail on materials and methods of construction.

The applicant’s study of Geography is effectively linked in: the talk shows a readiness to research and present, skills increasingly valued in HE courses.

The reading is likely to set this applicant apart from others. These are detailed books, but it is clear that s/he has a working knowledge of them and is committed to learning about this subject from the foundations upwards!

(5) What is a good UCAS Personal Statement for Social Anthropology?

Here is a couple of fictional extracts, to illustrate unsatisfactory and better practice.

Part of a bad Personal Statement for Social Anthropology

“The purpose of Anthropology is to make the world safe for human differences.” Ruth Benedict’s statement encapsulates the relevance of anthropology for today’s war-torn world: if we can understand the differences between people, we can help to create peace. Studying anthropology will provide a framework to help me see what is universal to all human societies and what is variable.

“Quotation is the refuge of unoriginal thinkers” (Roger Philipson) Never start with a quotation. It suggests that you do not have any ideas of your own for this Personal Statement.

Do not fall into the trap of justifying the importance of anthropology as an area of study. The admissions’ tutor wants to see its importance for you as an individual.

The last sentence has been lifted straight from the LSE website. PLAGIARISM IS THE SUREST WAY TO GET YOUR APPLICATION PUT IN THE BIN!

I relish the prospect of analysing many forms of information - from texts to films - in ways that will enable me to question received versions of the world. As a student I will increase my factual understanding of the world, and of the interdependence of different parts of it.

There is more plagiarism here (from the same source as before). In any case, what the applicant has already read and thought is far more relevant than “relishing” (hyperbole!) the programme on offer, which is summarized in too general terms to make an impact on an admissions’ tutor.

At the same time, the skills I will develop in reading critically, writing coherently, reasoning effectively and public expression will help my employment prospects.

The plagiarism continues (from the same source again). Moreover, such a generalization could be applied to most university degree programmes, especially in Social Sciences and Humanities. This adds no evidence about why the applicant wants to study Anthropology in particular

My interest in anthropology started when I went on holiday to Spain. I was struck by the different lifestyle, and thought that the “mañana” attitude I saw among people was not unconnected to the tendency to take a siesta.

The analysis is superficial, the conclusion unjustified (and bizarre) and the stereotyping borders on racism. This looks like someone who has attempted to connect two features of “quaint foreigners”.

Enthused by my observations, I have read: R Astuti, J Parry and C Stafford (eds) Questions of Anthropology; T H Eriksen Small Places, Large Issues: an introduction to social and cultural anthropology; K Gardner Songs at the River's Edge: stories from a Bangladeshi village. I am now convinced that anthropology is for me.

The books listed are from the LSE suggested reading list! As a rule of thumb: the more books an applicant lists, the more s/he is unlikely to have read any of them. The clumsy language of the conclusion reinforces the impression of someone who has little awareness about the subject, has done minimal research and is probably looking for a new subject to study at university, because s/he has not particularly enjoyed those currently being studied. There is no evidence of the curiosity or initiative needed in an independent learner.

Part of a better Personal Statement for Social Anthropology

In order to test my interest in studying Law at university, I read “Eve Was Framed”. I was so deeply affected by Helena Kennedy’s demonstration of gender and other bias in the operation of the legal process that I felt that I had to examine this further in an EPQ entitled “How far can anthropology help us to understand miscarriages of justice?” I focused on the role of status in the flawed convictions of Sally Clark and Barry George for murder: in the former, an “expert witness” misused statistics; in the latter, the pressure for conviction led to an excessive concentration on flimsy evidence against someone characterized as a “misfit”. The most interesting of several books that I consulted was Elizabeth Loftus’s “Eyewitness Testimony”: her evidence of the extent to which our memories of incidents are affected by our shared cultural and individual prejudices makes this book, in my opinion, required reading for all lawyers and jurors.

There is nothing wrong in claiming that you considered applying for Subject A but are now applying for Subject B, as long as you can show that you have (as here) conducted proper research into Subject A before deciding on Subject B. Those applying for subjects not currently studied have to convince admissions’ tutors that they have conducted proper research: they are not expected to have read as much as those applying for subjects currently being studied, but they do need to reassure admissions’ staff that they have some idea of what they are applying for, and are not merely looking for an “escape” from current subjects. The journey presented here is convincing and interesting.

An EPQ (or similar research project) is an eye-catching way to start. It is evidence of the sort of research skills needed in uni. study; it is an individual title, which sets an applicant apart from the mass; even if the subject is not relevant to the course applied for, the skills are. This applicant comes across as curious and an independent thinker. Note that there is no hyperbole (e.g., “I was intrigued, fascinated, beguiled…”), as there is no desperate clutching at straws.

I am now convinced that I wish to study Anthropology. Kate Fox’s “Watching the English” is written in a lighter vein, but exposes distinctive practices within British society, from vocabulary as an indication of class to the intricate behaviours seen in gaining attention at a bar. As a result of my study of French and visits to France, I have been considering what an equivalent “Watching the French” might contain.

The applicant is able to discuss (rather than just summarise) reading as a basis for further reflection.

Nigel Barley’s “The Innocent Anthropologist” taught me how much patience a field anthropologist needs, not least in learning a new language, and made me consider how distorting the “observer effect” can be. 

Only now is a work introduced that deals with a subject most commonly associated with anthropologists: studying a tribe in Africa. Convincing new points are being made. In connection with all the reading, the applicant is providing evidence of what s/he has learnt.

I have given a talk to our Sixth Form Seminar Group on “Witness: how far did the film distort the Amish society for dramatic effect?” The crux is the danger that those of us outside a community tend to use limited evidence to reach untenable conclusions about how a whole society operates. I used the analogy of school: informal and formal hierarchies operate, and a highly edited film such as “Educating Yorkshire” can only give a superficial awareness of their complex relationship.

The applicant has taken the trouble to research and present a talk to a general audience. The use of analogy and the awareness of the danger of superficiality in treating complex communities in films and television show the development of higher level skills. This applicant, from a university tutor’s point of view, looks to be eminently “teachable”: the sort of person you would want in a seminar group.